Interior Joy
Interior Joy - Reflections on Life Through the Heart's Wisdom, is a 3 volume set of insight and
illumination gathered from the everyday experiences we call life. So much of this reality becomes routine and
swept up by the fast paced, mundane necessities of everyday living and we often find ourselves tired and empty in
just trying to keep up.
These reflections began as journal entries when I found myself navigating through yet another life change, in
a new city with very little support of familiarity and comfort. I truly wanted to know what it is to "be in this
world, but not of it." I took that question with me to the laundry mat and market and into rush hour traffic as I
looked for a new job and watched my bills pile up. I found that truly there is an ancient grace, ever present, to
gift us the new eyes to see things differently: to observe all of life from a perspective that takes the details
into a much clearer and more vast understanding of this world and our unique presence in it.
As with all of my writing, I was merely a vessel for the expressions found herein. They are the words and gift
of LOVE giving meaning to what is often non-sensical in our lives. It is my honor and great joy to share these
reflections with you.
This Love
from Volume One
There is an age-old and profound promise in this life that any suffering in the immediate is temporary and necessary for the higher good;
even if not understood at the time. It reflects that no matter how difficult the life conditions, rescue is imminent.
I believe this with all my heart and have a bevy of experiences that bear this Truth.
Each day, no matter how active my mind is in reminding me of financial stress,
physical ailments, professional uncertainties, or feelings of isolation and ineptitudes...
still I AM certain of the legacy of love within me.
Within us all.
I feel it all the time, calling me back from the illusions.
Calling me back to my heart center.
Calling me back home.
It helps me to persevere in my weariness; and I am weary. This love.
It polishes every dull duality and keeps polishing until clarity is revealed.
Crystal clear. This love.
It goes with me every time I visit the past, teaching me to discern and resurface each time,
a little less burdened and bound by history. This love.
It turns my melancholy into majesty, the mundane into mystery,
routines into sacred moments and all doubt into proof that something
is always pulling me up, again and again. This love.
This love that lifts and inspires and elevates and assures and forgives my most dogged
determination to deny my own divinity.
This love; in the guise of my passion and strong wanting, has delivered me to
a place in life where I find myself no longer knocking on every door...
but ready to open them all.
Trusting that my greatest fears are part of the treasure I seek.
Believing that no matter where day to day reality takes me,
that this companion of my heart will continue to go with me.
Knowing that no matter what appears behind those endless doors of unknown,
the observed reality will be wrapped in the reverence of this love.
And that my need to be granted acceptance across the threshold of all those doors,
has been replaced by the desire to invite all the unknowns of future experiences into
the center of my heart. No more going without.
This love has provided a peace that has taught me to take all the worlds vicissitudes -
within.
And it is not so much that I always hear the still small voice that tells me
everything I need to know. But that in my heart, this love, releases my dis-ease
into remission from the need to know.
Beyond the wonder, beyond words and anointed allowing that this legacy of love instills
within me...is the blessed assurance, in my own small world, that this legacy belongs
to all living things.
This love is all living things.
The person with an over-flowing grocery cart that cut off the person with just three items -
The "mother" that welcomed the experience of having the perfect family,
yet denied that "mothering" to her own bewildered offspring.
The master-mind movie mogul who used his creative genius to produce 2 hours
of violence, brutality, and expressed evil for millions to view and take into
already precarious psyches.
Yes, within every act and thought and behavior that denies love -
is the promise and presence of that very same love.
Asking to be revealed.
Wanting to be remembered.
Waiting to be returned to its greatest point of power; the heart.
Each day, upon waking, my first thoughts are of gratitude
for another chance to get it right.
Every night, as I lay in bed before drifting into respite and reverie,
my last thoughts are of gratitude for the light and the love and the gift of another day;
gone forever.
And the world goes on turning and the sun keeps burning - again and again -
through the grace of this love.
And though many begrudge and even deny the existence of something sacred and holy
and so much bigger than all the worlds unknowns...in my life,
what I know is that all the worlds wrongs are righted and redeemed... by this love.
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